White Light\Black Rain: The Destruction Of Hiroshima And Nagasaki Page #6

understand Japanese.

They just smiled at me.

''Give them back to me,''

l shouted.

lt pains me

to think

we were guinea pigs.

The American doctors picked

us up at school and put us in jeeps.

We went into a room

and stripped naked.

lf you had purple spots

or diarrhea they examined you,

but they didn't treat us.

Even though

we survived,

we couldn't live

or die like human beings.

ln Nagasaki, the government

did nothing for the survivors.

The streets were

full of orphans.

We had no housing or food.

Children were

killing themselves.

Something needed to be done.

Friends l met

at the hospital,

people hurt like me--

burned, disabled,

with missing limbs.

We talked about

our problems

and decided to

form an organization

for survivors.

We proposed that

since Japan started the war,

it should

take responsibility

for the victims

of the bombings.

That's what we wanted.

We were angry

at the government.

So we became activists.

The death and destruction

was horrible,

but sometimes

it's harder to survive.

Most survivors look

fine on the outside,

but they live with

the bomb everyday.

Other people can't

begin to understand

what they go through.

ln Japan, if people find out

you're an atomic bomb survivor,

nothing good will happen.

They face discrimination.

They can't get jobs.

lf they get married,

they could have

deformed children.

My wife is also a survivor.

Thank God,

our children are normal,

but it could show up later.

What about

my grandchildren?

l still worry.

The bomb is still

with me.

l've had 6 miscarriages

because of it.

l had abnormalities with

my reproductive system

and was told

l couldn't have children.

l've had so many tumors.

One turned out

to be colon cancer.

They found tumors

in my pancreas,

tumors in my thyroid,

tumors on my back.

They seem to

pop up everywhere.

Their children,

boys or girls,

will face obstacles in marriage,

if people find out.

This is the reality

even today.

l'm already 72 years old.

lf you ask me, they're just

waiting for us to die.

Soon, the Japanese government

won't have to worry about us.

For a long time,

l didn't want

to think about it.

l avoided anything

related to the war--

newspaper stories,

television shows,

lt's over 60 years

since the bomb.

lt still haunts me.

l can't forgive myself

for what happened

to my brother

and sister.

Not a single day goes by

that l don't think of them.

''l'm sorry, l'm sorry.''

My bones are so

thin and brittle,

they'll break if

l cough violently.

l've shown you

my wounds

because l want

you to know

this can't

happen again.

lt's painful

how people react

when they see me.

l can't change

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